Life is out of control right now. In my head, that is a huge understatement. Today Paul left for Florida. He will do a Blend Bar training for Salts, then fly straight to Arizona, do another training, then fly straight to California, do yet another training and have some meetings, then fly home next Friday, only to leave again on Sunday for Hawaii (at least I will be joining him on that venture!) Craziness!! There is so much to do at Salts. It is a huge blessing that things are kinda exploding there, just makes for some over-worked, exhausted people. My mind is fried with trying to remember and do all of the things I need to. Paul has put me in charge of training videos at Salts, which I am trying to teach myself from scratch. That in and of itself makes my brain want to explode. But then I am trying to help out with the everyday stuff and am spending the majority of my day at the warehouse or running errands.
My poor children, I feel like I am dragging them all over the place. Half the time, Stew's naps are in his car seat to and from who knows where. Or when he is super sad at work, I go for a drive until he falls asleep, head back to Salts, and he naps in the parking lot while I finish working. Sad to admit, but Lily is over-working the iPad. Noodle soup is becoming a staple item, and I can't even think about the last time I really cleaned the house. (Putting this all in a list is not as therapeutic as I was hoping it would be...it could go on, but I'll stop)
I just feel so stretched and thin right now. Like I have all of these things I am trying to do: be a good wife, mother, nurturer, employee, build an artistic bone... But I am not excelling, or even doing well, at any of them. I am sinking...slowly. When I think about going to Hawaii, or even Christmas, I am not even excited. Which is CRAZY! But I am too stressed out and exhausted, to have room for the excitement either of those deserve. So until life settles down, or I figure out some way to pull it together and handle every thing, I am just trying to keep afloat.
Showing posts with label The not-so-great parts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The not-so-great parts. Show all posts
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Hand, Foot, Mouth...what?!
On our way home from Mexico, Paul and I were mega struggling. I'm sure that we looked like death walking around the airports, waiting for our flights. We were both having serious chills to the point of our whole bodies shaking uncontrollably. We were probably the only ones with jackets and long-sleeves in the entire Phoenix airport. And we had bad body aches and sore throats. Plus Stewart was still sad as ever and fighting with all his little might to avoid napping. We were all so happy to finally be home sweet home. The next day was Mother's Day but Paul and I agreed to take a rain check on our little celebration since we were both so sick. Thank goodness Grandma Heslop came to take Lily for the day so that all of us sickies could rest as much as possible.
That night we decided to take Stew to the insta-care because I was sure that he had an ear infection. But when we went in and got him all checked out, no ear-infection. The poor little guy did have Strep Throat though. The doctor could clearly see that Paul and I weren't in great shape and we all assumed that we had whatever Stew had. So he prescribed antibiotics all around. We thought it would be down hill from there and we'd all be back in no time.
BUTTT... that morning when I woke up, I felt like a spider had gone to town on the palms of both of my hands. Weird! and disturbing! My throat was also get worse and I didn't feel like the antibiotics had done squat. Throughout the day my hands got itchier and more spots were popping up on my palms. I remembered something that the insta-care Dr. and Jeff both barely mentioned when they say the rash on Stew's feet and legs. They had each said something to the effect, "Oh, I hope it's not Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease.." I kept wondering if that was what I had!
The next morning, I had spots all over my the soles of my FEET! Oh no. I was so itchy and buggy. I felt like I waking on rocks and anything I did with my hands just irritated them that much more. I did my own little googling research on the bizarro disease and it says that it is a virus and there is no meds for it, just pain killers to help. It also is not common in adults, just kids under 10... of coarse. Each day my throat was getting worse and by day three I could see spots all over it too. On my tongue and really bad ones at the back of my throat and I'm sure all up and down my esophagus. It felt like acid even when I drank water! Luckily, from my good friend Abbey, she let me in on a tidbit of good news called 'Magic Mouthwash' (I know, it sounds about as made up as this disease I had). I called my friends over at Rock Hotel and they got me some. All you do is swish and swallow and it numbed everything. Kind of felt like my throat was closing off but at least I could eat some food before it wore off each time.
So "in my experience" (funny joke between Paul and I, because we actually have no experience in this, but I think that I do), I think that poor Stew Stew had Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease and Strep. Which he then gave me Hand, Foot, Mouth and Paul got Strep. What a sweet little guy, dividing up his sickies to his parents. Luckily, and shockingly, Lily never got sick through any of this. But that's just because it wasn't Croup!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Mexico
... it was quite the roller-coaster. Our big Heslop vacation this year was to the beautiful Puerto Vallerta, Mexico. We stayed at the gorgeous Grand Mayan which is where we were four years ago on another Heslop vacation. I thought this would be a good opportunity to take the kids on a vacation since we had already done the same trip previously. I knew what was there and what to expect. We would spend the majority of our time at the resort playing in the many pools and basking in the sun at the beach. I thought it would be great because I could just hop up to the room and let Stew have a nap and then we would join the others after he rested for more fun in the sun. But of course, things don't always go as planned!
Last Friday night, the night before our early morning flight, we were eating a quick dinner at Heslop's and out of absolutely nowhere, Stewart threw up everywhere. I was shocked, I didn't know what to think. He had zero reaction to it. He wasn't sad or upset, and it was the first time he had ever thrown up. I was hoping with everything that I had inside me that it was just something weird he ate and that he was not sick. We had weeks of being all being healthy and we just needed one more for our Mexican adventure. So that night we lined Stew's floor with blankets incase he was up all night to minimize the clean-up. But "YAY" he never woke up in the night. I thought we were in the clear. So we packed all up and headed to the airport. I sat in the back with the kids and fed Stewart a little of my yogurt on the way. I was talking to Lily and getting her psyched about finally being able to go inside the airport (which may have been a highlight of her vacation) when I looked back and saw Stewart had thrown up a little in his car-seat. OH-NO! It was a very stressful flight for Paul, watching Stew's every move to make sure he didn't vomit all over the plane. We had a lay-over in Phoenix and so far so good. But then on the way to Mexico, he was eating something and started gagging. Ready for action, Paul was able to catch two separate throw ups with very minimal mess on anything.
We finally made it to Mexico! We were all in good spirits, except for some anxiety Paul apparently was having the entire flight. But things were looking up. Stewart was acting relatively normal, just a bit tired which I expected since we woke him up a couple hours earlier than his average day. That night after we go settled in our rooms, we went down to this yummy Italian restaurant at the resort. While waiting for our food I started feeding Stew his dinner. Paul noticed that Stewart had blown completely out of his diaper... like, I don't want to go into details, but it was the worst...EVER! I am sooo glad that there were no other diners around us because it for sure made me lose my appetite. After going back and forth (to bath and clean him up) and back (he was just not having it, me and him were calling it a night) and forth (Paul gave me the towel key instead of the room key), I was absolutely exhausted and done. I put Stewart to bed and just vegged the rest of the night. Everyone slept through the night but when I brought Stew in bed with us in the morning to give him his bottle, about half-way through, guess what? He threw up everywhere, poor little guy. So we sent everyone off to church while we just laid low and let Stew rest.
To make a really long story short, every time I thought Stewart was getting better, he threw up at a restaurant or woke up crazy early and screamed the whole time. It was super bizarre but every single day he woke up one hour earlier than the day before, almost exactly! The first day it was at 8, the next was 7ish, the next 6ish, the next 5ish, the next 4ish, and oh yes, the last day he woke up at 3'oclock in the morning and screamed almost until 7. It was so unlike him to even wake up in the night so I was at a complete loss as to what to do. By the last two mornings I took him on stroller rides around the resort just to calm him down. I will say that mid-week when he woke up at 5, he fell back asleep an hour later in my arms. It was really precious and the highlight of my week. He hasn't done that since he was a newborn so it was a little tender mercy to experience that again.
It was definitely a trip we won't be forgetting!
Last Friday night, the night before our early morning flight, we were eating a quick dinner at Heslop's and out of absolutely nowhere, Stewart threw up everywhere. I was shocked, I didn't know what to think. He had zero reaction to it. He wasn't sad or upset, and it was the first time he had ever thrown up. I was hoping with everything that I had inside me that it was just something weird he ate and that he was not sick. We had weeks of being all being healthy and we just needed one more for our Mexican adventure. So that night we lined Stew's floor with blankets incase he was up all night to minimize the clean-up. But "YAY" he never woke up in the night. I thought we were in the clear. So we packed all up and headed to the airport. I sat in the back with the kids and fed Stewart a little of my yogurt on the way. I was talking to Lily and getting her psyched about finally being able to go inside the airport (which may have been a highlight of her vacation) when I looked back and saw Stewart had thrown up a little in his car-seat. OH-NO! It was a very stressful flight for Paul, watching Stew's every move to make sure he didn't vomit all over the plane. We had a lay-over in Phoenix and so far so good. But then on the way to Mexico, he was eating something and started gagging. Ready for action, Paul was able to catch two separate throw ups with very minimal mess on anything.
We finally made it to Mexico! We were all in good spirits, except for some anxiety Paul apparently was having the entire flight. But things were looking up. Stewart was acting relatively normal, just a bit tired which I expected since we woke him up a couple hours earlier than his average day. That night after we go settled in our rooms, we went down to this yummy Italian restaurant at the resort. While waiting for our food I started feeding Stew his dinner. Paul noticed that Stewart had blown completely out of his diaper... like, I don't want to go into details, but it was the worst...EVER! I am sooo glad that there were no other diners around us because it for sure made me lose my appetite. After going back and forth (to bath and clean him up) and back (he was just not having it, me and him were calling it a night) and forth (Paul gave me the towel key instead of the room key), I was absolutely exhausted and done. I put Stewart to bed and just vegged the rest of the night. Everyone slept through the night but when I brought Stew in bed with us in the morning to give him his bottle, about half-way through, guess what? He threw up everywhere, poor little guy. So we sent everyone off to church while we just laid low and let Stew rest.
To make a really long story short, every time I thought Stewart was getting better, he threw up at a restaurant or woke up crazy early and screamed the whole time. It was super bizarre but every single day he woke up one hour earlier than the day before, almost exactly! The first day it was at 8, the next was 7ish, the next 6ish, the next 5ish, the next 4ish, and oh yes, the last day he woke up at 3'oclock in the morning and screamed almost until 7. It was so unlike him to even wake up in the night so I was at a complete loss as to what to do. By the last two mornings I took him on stroller rides around the resort just to calm him down. I will say that mid-week when he woke up at 5, he fell back asleep an hour later in my arms. It was really precious and the highlight of my week. He hasn't done that since he was a newborn so it was a little tender mercy to experience that again.
We did have some good times playing at the beach, lounging in the lazy river, and playing in the pools. Paul was able to get some good frisbee tossing in along with beach volleyball, parasailing, and a canopy vip-line adventure with the family.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Keeping it real
I am doing this blog as a replacement for a scrapbook and journal. Not that it is the best substitution for either, but it is what I know I will update more than twice a year. With that, keeping true to more of the journaling aspect, I want to keep it real. I don't want it to be this place for only the good-looking, happy times, which of course are wonderful, but my life is much more than that. It is not all parties, and laughs, and carousals. Being a mother is the most challenging thing I have ever been through. It is hard! And I feel like it is not something that I can really talk about. If I ever do, I feel like I am being such a downer. I feel like everyone portrays the most desirable life with the best kids and husband and everything is great 95% of the time. And maybe for some people that is how it really is, and if so I am extremely happy for them. Only I want to be true to myself and portray my life how it is.
The past three weeks Paul has been on three separate business trips. I have this new-found respect for single parents! Wow, that is one demanding job with very very little breaks!! The first couple trips where Paul was gone I was doing surprisingly well, just tried to keep myself busy everyday with activities and friends for Lily. But this last trip I feel like I am living in this night-mare (sounds extreme, but like I said, just keeping it real). I am beyond exhausted, I have a constant head-ache, both kids have colds, and Stew is sadder and more needy than ever. There has been a lot of crying at our house this week, mostly by Stew and me. With the exception of my tempting pain meds stash (which has been untouched) I feel like there is no way of it letting up. I have just had to focus on Paul coming home and just hope that I'll be able to get a little break then.
Well, depressing I know, but that's how it is. I've bottled the depressing parts of my life up for years and it has caused me to take much longer than I'm sure is needed to get past some things. So I'm going to take a different approach from now on and just lay it all out there. And hopefully it will help..
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